Ever thought James Franco was “yum”? Well, now you can know for sure. The folks (I don’t know what adjective to use for them) at BiteLabs took that phrase a little too literally and have created “artisanal salami” out of a sizeable portion of celebritydom. What? No, I did not ask for a portion of celebritydom. I do, however, fear that becoming a common statement.
C’mon guys, get a (normal) life!
“Each salami will have roughly 30 percent celebrity meat and 40 percent lab-grown animal meats (we’re currently looking into ostrich and venison but pork and beef are more popular in our early research). The rest will consist of fats and spices. This break-down comes from consultation with expert food designers and chefs,” confirmed Kevin from BiteLabs.
According to (even more disturbing) reports, James Franco tastes “arrogant, distinctive and completely undeniable.” Jennifer Lawrence will have “a charming and confident flavor profile.” And Kanye West salami is best paired with “strong straight bourbon.” In fact, not only do salamis have their own libations, the company is doing all it can to gauge market interest. “Our primary goal right now is to create a public dialogue around the potential for commercially available lab-grown celebrity meat.”
Well, for starters, I’d like to give them a piece of my mind. Ok, so that came out wrong. Dear weird people please don’t take me up on that, not ever! Whoever the “people” are though (read: bio-engineers and food designers) wish to remain anonymous “due to the controversial nature of the product.” Needless to say, their product already goes to the top of my ‘top 6 delicacies you should stop eating’ list. What’s your take on this apparent commentary on lab-grown meats, the way celebrity culture is consumed and bioethics?